What is the Etiquette for Inviting Guests to a French Wedding?

If you've been invited to a French wedding, or you're in the midst of planning one yourself, something you might not be familiar with is the etiquette for inviting guests.

In France, some specific rules tend to be followed when it comes to issuing invitations, which many in English-speaking or Western cultures may find a bit unusual. Namely, there is a tiered wedding invitation system.

So what can you expect when receiving a wedding invitation or sending one out? Here's a quick guide to the etiquette for inviting guests to a French wedding.

The Two (or Three) Tier Wedding Invitation System for French Celebrations

As mentioned, there is a two-tier (sometimes three-tier) system for French wedding celebrations. So let's start with the type of invitation you would send acquaintances, work colleagues, and distant family members – the Faire-Part.

Faire-Part (Tier 1)

A Faire-Part literally refers to the announcement of a birth, or in this case, a marriage. It also passes as an invitation in some cases to specific elements of the wedding, depending on the traditions the couple are following.

Some couples send a Faire-Part to distant relatives, work colleagues, and acquaintances, to simply announce the wedding. They are sent out on the basis that the people receiving them aren't expected to come to the wedding. It's then up to the recipients whether they wish to send a congratulations card or a cheque as a gift to the happy couple.

While the tradition of a formal Faire-Part is declining, it's still quite common in France for couples to send these out as a way to let everyone know about the impending nuptials, regardless of whether or not they are invited to attend.

Faire-Part (Tier 2)

The second so-called "tier" of the Faire-Part is sent out to people you want to attend your wedding. It might include more details and make it more evident that you are welcome to attend.
This invitation is for the ceremony (civil and/or church) and the subsequent vin d'honneur (cocktail hour). It doesn't cover the repas de noces (evening wedding meal) and the all-night party.

With that in mind, this tier of wedding invitations usually covers relatives within a certain geographical radius, closer work colleagues, friends of the marrying couple's parents, and most acquaintances in and around their home village or town.

Some people send this out as an official Faire-Part, but increasingly couples are making specific invitations for this section of the wedding, so it's more clear to guests whether or not they're invited to attend.

Full French Wedding Invitation (Tier 3)

A complete French wedding invitation includes the tier two Faire-Part (or equivalent) and then a separate card with an RSVP request, which will detail plans for the evening wedding meal, dessert, and dancing.

So if you receive two separate cards or an invitation with an RSVP request, you can be pretty sure you are invited to the whole day as well as the evening party. This tier is unsurprisingly reserved for close family and friends of the couple, including witnesses, godparents, and siblings.

If you receive a wedding invitation that doesn't explicitly state that it's for the whole day, there's no harm in checking with the couple getting married. They might just have forgotten to include that information, or, more likely, they may only want you to come for part of the day.

Recap: French Wedding Invitation Etiquette

French wedding invitations can be confusing to the uninitiated. While English-speaking cultures enjoy pretty straightforward wedding invitation etiquette, the French have a much more nuanced two (or three) tiered system.

The first tier, the Faire-Part, is simply an announcement of the wedding that is sent to distant relatives, work colleagues, and acquaintances. The second tier is for people the couple actually wants to attend the wedding and includes an invitation to the ceremony and vin d'honneur. The third tier includes an invitation to the evening festivities, including the repas de noces and dancing.

If you're unsure whether you're invited to the whole day/evening, the safest bet is to check with the couple getting married.